Mind Your Business Becky
Recently, a white woman, whose name is unknown so I’ll call her Becky, has been credited with posting a comment about her perspective of black women, their mistreatment of black men, and how white women are more than willing to embrace said men with open arms. Becky is quoted as posting,
I’m sick of hearing u black women talk about not needing a man, being both mommy and daddy to your kids and how black men ain’t shit! not one of you hoes are lying, you don’t want a real man. you all want some spineless knuckle dragging uneducated jobless dope dealer you can control and manipulate because you know that no real man will put up with you bottom feeding worthless good for nothing baby making asses you’re afraid to be called on your bs! Meanwhile, US WHITE QUEENS ARE SNATCHING UP ALL THE REAL, EDUCATED BLACK MEN leaving you whores crying and hating! Keep on not needing them lol well take care of them for ya, they’re in very capable hands so don’t worry UR little nappy/bald heads about that! ~ Becky
Initially, when I read the post I felt an array of emotion and as I processed these emotions I came to a few realizations. The first thing that I realized after reading this “comment” was that I was angry, angry at the realization that this white woman felt entitled enough to interject her unwanted opinion on social constructs to which she does not belong. Here is yet ANOTHER white person giving voice and thought to how Black woman should or should not speak, act, and/or be; all while denigrating and dismissing Black women’s existence and hardships.
Here’s the Black woman’s truth, we collectively checked our bank accounts this morning and we all have not a single fuck to give about the opinion of Becky or any other white woman and their thoughts on our complaints and struggles with Black men. Despite white women’s interest in the stereotypical characteristics given to Black men, Black women have loved and stood beside Black men through every struggle they’ve ever experienced in this oppressively white country.
- When Europeans were kidnapping Africans from the shores of West Africa, African women, and their children were right there being snatched and enslaved right beside OUR men.
- When Black men were forced into chains and sailed across an ocean – shackled on top of and next to each other, right there chained on top of and next to them were Black women.
- When African men reached the shores of “American Soil”, stripped of their clothing, sanitized, branded, and treated like property, right there strapped, sanitized, branded, and possessed were Black women.
- When Black men who were considered too strong, uncontrollable, a threat and his master “buck-broke” him, emasculating and destroying his spirit, right there to care for his wounds and rebuild his spirit was a Black woman.
- When Black men were viewed as animalistic-sexual property and raped by their white women owners, right there working to pick up the pieces of his manhood stood a Black woman.
For decades following, through every oppressive and dehumanizing struggle Black women have stood in the corners, at the side of, to the back of, and with OUR Black men.
Black women, without question, have EVERY right to complain about the hardships they experience with men, black women have EVERY right to express their issues with Black men and not a single white woman has any right to express their discontentment with how, when, and why Black women choose to complain about a damn thing. No Black woman cares that Becky felt that she has a right or responsibility to express to Black women what complaints of theirs’ makes her “sick.” Black women did not ask permission for the freedom to say what they feel or think, Black women did not wake up and ask, “Becky what’s your opinion on how Black women deal with or seek Black men?” Black women in no way thought of Becky’s irrelevant existence and sought input on a damn thing that they experience or encounter with THEIR Black men; so, like all other “free-thinking” racist-radical alt-right’s who erroneously misinterpret the first amendment, Becky should discontinue the use of her freedom of speech.
Then I realized something else, I felt confused. As Becky sat denouncing, attempting to berate and degrade Black women and their features I couldn’t help but think about something. For a race of women that are so proud of their “White Queendom”, white women work very hard to appropriate and literally model themselves after our “little nappy/bald heads.” White women have continuously taken predominantly Black traits and attempted to reface them as their own; from the recent “boxer-braid” trend, to the wearing of dreads, collagen lip injections, darkening their skin via tanning salons/sprays, and surgical body modifications to increase the size of their butts/hips white women have gone the extra mile to make themselves Blacker in appearance. Yet, here stands a woman trying to establish superiority in her existence singularly because of the color of her skin and yet women just like her are paying thousands of dollars to make themselves appear more appealing by taking on the physical attributes of women that feel inferior. Which begs the question, who exactly stands in queendom?
Queens do not model themselves after peasants, on the contrary, peasants aim to obtain that which is granted to those ranked higher in the hierarchy. However, in the midst of these contradicting conundrums, what I found most confusing was the clearly negative opinion Becky expressed about Black women and the open-armed welcome she extended to Black men as if these same Black men didn’t come from the wombs of these same Black women. It is impossible to genuinely love a man but hate his women, including his mother, based only on the color of her skin or the struggles she experiences because of her Blackness; it is impossible to hate her skin but love, desire, and respect his – as they are one and the same. If you find Black women disgusting and inferior, then the reality is that Becky and white woman like her also find Black men disgusting; therefore, Becky should realize that there is a difference between sincerely loving Black men AND their struggle and loving Black dick.
Then, as I transitioned from confusion I moved into gratefulness, yes gratefulness. I found myself thanking Becky, in all her grammatical illiteracy, for freeing Black women from the “educated real men” who are willing to align themselves with delusional philosophies. The reality of white people in this country is they exist in a privilege, one of entitlement and feelings of superiority and Black people have been impressed upon to believe that success is aligning ourselves with white ideals. It is impressed that the image of success is stepping into a space that is socially and societally acceptable, for the Black man it is moving beyond the Black woman who society has deemed unattractive, ugly, and the epitome of the bottom of the barrel and getting a white woman. For the Black man, this image of success is leaping into the arms of the white submissive woman who isn’t attitudinal and who will “let a man be a man”, the white woman who will sign over her power to allow a weaker man to feel strong. For this,
- Thank you, Becky, for taking those men unable to stand beside OUR power and recognize our greatness without feeling less than and making sure they’re well taken care of.
- Thank you, Becky, for welcoming with open arms Black men who confuse not submissive with attitudinal and bottom-feeding with oppressed – despite systemically being stepped on by the very women who are so willing to accept their genitalia; but, not their life struggles.
- Thank you, for separating the Black men who are unable to stand in their Blackness and recognize that the “white savior” isn’t inclusionary; but, a delusion of acceptance and a “come-up” illusion.
For all that Becky has hoped to accomplish in this lacking, at best, diminishment of Black women and her attempt to save Black men from us less than “nappy headed” Black women – darling you failed miserably. If the best that you can do is produce a racist generalist rant about Black women while throwing on your “white privilege cape” and saving our Black men you have quite a bit of work ahead of you.
However, in the meanwhile,
- Black women will continue to be the highest group enrolled in college and will statistically continue to outperform those “educated” men you so highly sought.
- Black women will continue to establish and maintain healthily-loving relationships with Black men deserving of our greatness and power.
- Black women will continue to not give a single care about what you and all the other Becky’s think.
Written by Terry Lourdes
Edited by David P Fenelus
List of references