Black Women Have Had It Just As bad If Not Worse Than Our Men

Black Women Have Had It Just As bad If Not Worse Than Our Men

- in Nuwla

Black Women Have Had It Just As Bad If Not Worse Than Our Men

I and my 4 siblings were raised by our single mother our father had NO hand in our upbringing. We were raised in the hood and had no more than our neighbors, yet we are ALL college educated with nothing less than master degrees. My mother went back to school at 47 and now holds a doctorate as does my brother. Those who know better do better. She knew better. It is evident that she raised us based on what SHE knew and did the best she knew how to do like every single parent on this planet wants. Black women have had it just as bad if not worse than our men. Why is it so hard to grasp that a lot of poor black mothers honestly don’t know any better and the damage caused to them is revisited on their children? Remember you do better when you know better.

If we REALLY want, to be honest, most of us know personally a black woman who has been abused in some way by a black man, likely the ones that claim to love us. We take the abuse and we move forward because we HAVE to. We have the children. We all aren’t great mothers. We all don’t have mothers like mine that instilled in us the value of self-love, self-knowledge, and education. Those children often thrive as we did. Those mothers that only know abuse and neglect often times instill those things in their children.

Why is it so easy for us as a people to understand the pain and injustices visited upon black men who are broken by the system but cannot find that same understanding for black women who have been broken by that same system? We share the pain and injustices of the system and we also endure the pain and injustices inflicted by our men.

Black mothers generally take FULL responsibility for the choices we made in men that walked away from their children without a second glance. We take responsibility by keeping and raising our babies to the best of our abilities. Sometimes what we have inside is enough to raise them well and sometimes it isn’t. We will be stuck in a perpetual cycle of pain and injustice and poverty and death if we don’t recognize what we do to each other individually and collectively. The biggest threat to black men is white men. The biggest threat to black women…. BLACK MEN.

Nuwla contributor: Celia K. Dale
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Black women
Celia K. Dale

Celia K. Dale is a mother, a daughter, a sister, and loyal friend.  She is the creator of a social networking site for our people to learn, engage, and uplift other people across the diaspora. Celia believes that ALL black lives matter… even the ones whose lifestyles others may disagree with.

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  • David Fenelus

    Good read.

  • enochmubarak

    No threat … simply cowardliness …The black man does not have the courage to stand against oppression and so he takes it out on black women that he is a coward and if it not cowardliness then you tell me because……

    The “they” that black men fear and the author refer to as a threat to black men are addicted to breathing like we are. “They” put their pants on one leg at a time like we do.

    “They” have the same doubts, fears and die in so many years like we do
    so if we don’t appreciate what “they” are doing to us, treating us,
    enslaving us, killing us and raping us then how come we can’t stop them
    from treating us the way we don’t appreciate.

    We can’t stop
    “Them” because we are not men enough, smart enough, strong enough, brave
    enough, tough enough or intelligent enough and..who’s fault is that
    because “They” are no different than us and “They” can be beat…but we
    are without courage.

    Black men the
    courage to decide and choose because…..Fight or flee is a choice, stay or leave
    is a choice, sink or swim is a choice, live or die is a choice and what
    you choose depends on what you are made of because the same pot of
    boiling water can hardened an egg or soften a potato.

    • David Fenelus


    • Willie Bottoms

      The reality of the whole situation is that the construct concerning the black family is orchestrated very well by our government. One day people will wake up and see the construct to the competition within the whole family construct. You see the Christian Church has brainwashed so many to turn the other Cheek instead of bear arms and fight back. Recently, a friend of mine, son either committed suicide or was murdered. So, me being a strong minded black male called to the police station to get answers. When I told her about what I had done, she said to leave it alone because it was too painful. Me,, being the hard headed black man that I am, decided to go ahead and get involved anyway. So, I called the police station and asked them questions about the incident and got the run around. He was found hung in the local woods. His body was cremated and it was an open and shut case as far was they were concerned. What I also gathered is that he hung around White Kids in the Community. Just like the Kendrick Johnson situation in Georgia, I wanted to get to the bottom of it. Now, the mother told me that he was involved with white females and he was in a band. I continued to seek a response from the police and never got a call back. Later, on the mother found out that I was just to find out more and she said to please leave it alone because she didn’t want to lose me too. Now, is this being a coward to seek justice and to find out what really happened or give respect to the mom’s wishes because of not relieving the pain. This was her only son and he will never be heard from or seen again. He was loved by many. Like many black males who get involved with white girls or women a lot of the times the end result maybe murder or they say that they committed suicide. So, where have we gone wrong in the community of self hate and self doubt that we find the time to continue to put each other down because we compare ourselves to other races of people who actual steal alot of our gifts and put them off as their own. We must move pass this way of thinking and find peace and love or we will continue to have a high suicide and single mother and father rate in the black community. Let’s focus on love and unity because that is the only way to survive this matrix of destroying the black family and community. We must turn back to God and then we will be fully blessed and receive his grace.

      • enochmubarak

        You confuse seeking justice with an inquiry and a inquiry is what you pursued … not justice.